Lobster!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!
By Josh Zipper
August - November: Enjoy another missed miniseason vicariously through photos, videos, emails, etc. exchanged between (unmarried/unemployed) people who attended. Depressed that the picture column to the left is devoid of pictures of yours truly.
November - February: Delude myself into believing I am going to attend this year, to wit: "This is the year I end my 2 1/2 year drought!" "Screw work!" "Great countdown email from Frank!" "Wife can take separate vacation with girlfriends!" "Lobster!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"
February - March: Proudly unearth dust-clad fins, snorkel and mask; Defiantly unsheath tattered dive flag from equally-unused golf bag and clubs; Sharpen bloody (i.e. rusty) dive knife. Dislodge net and tickle stick from rake. This is the year!!!!!!
March - April: Watch deadline to pay housing deposit come and go without sending check. Pull soon-to-be expiring seniority card and get an extension on house reservation check from B-Man.
April - May: Check not sent. Likely not going. Eyeing post-miniseason weekend binge in Key West to save face.
June - July: Someone dropped out. Sucks for them, great for me! Frantically call B-Man to confirm I am in. Like, definitely. Well, definitely, likely. Probably. I'll get back to you, but I'm in for sure. Can't go. Yeah, money, work, you know the story. Yeah, next year, for sure, absolutely. Next year is the year.
August - November: Sadly, repeat the foregoing training regimen.............
February - March: Proudly unearth dust-clad fins, snorkel and mask; Defiantly unsheath tattered dive flag from equally-unused golf bag and clubs; Sharpen bloody (i.e. rusty) dive knife. Dislodge net and tickle stick from rake. This is the year!!!!!!
March - April: Watch deadline to pay housing deposit come and go without sending check. Pull soon-to-be expiring seniority card and get an extension on house reservation check from B-Man.
April - May: Check not sent. Likely not going. Eyeing post-miniseason weekend binge in Key West to save face.
June - July: Someone dropped out. Sucks for them, great for me! Frantically call B-Man to confirm I am in. Like, definitely. Well, definitely, likely. Probably. I'll get back to you, but I'm in for sure. Can't go. Yeah, money, work, you know the story. Yeah, next year, for sure, absolutely. Next year is the year.
August - November: Sadly, repeat the foregoing training regimen.............
Dont forget, practicing throwing the Head in the water and keeping the tail. 2.5 yrs out you will DEFINITELY need to practice this as you may return to your old form and throw tails away.
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