GULF OIL SPILL

Roy McAvoy Saves Mini Season

"Field of Dreams" star Kevin Costner has another dream -- helping to clean up the massive oil spill that has contaminated the Gulf of Mexico over the past few weeks.

BP has approved a test of Costner’s Ocean Therapy device to help the company clean up the Gulf after its Deepwater Horizon drill rig exploded and began spewing oil into the water, officials said today.

The machine -- described as a processing device that separates oil from water -- was first developed by scientists hired by Costner following the 1989 Exxon-Valdez oil spill off the coast of Alaska.

“The machines are basically sophisticated centrifuge devices that can handle a huge volume of water and separate at unprecedented rates,” Ocean Therapy Solutions CEO John Houghtaling told CBS's New Orleans affiliate WWL-TV.

“They were developed from older centrifuge technology. Normal centrifuge machines are very slow and sensitive to different ratios of oil to water mixtures at intake. Costner has been funding a team of scientists for the last 15 years to develop a technology which could be used for massive oil spills. New York Post

It's about time Kevin Costner has done something worthwhile. I mean Tip Cup was released in 1996 and since then we've gotten what? 3000 Miles to Graceland and Swing Vote (I love bad movies and even I couldn't stand 3000 Miles to Graceland).

Anyway the real reason I posted this was not to praise Kevin Costner's super robots, everyone knows that even if they work the Ghost Lobster will just sabotage them. What I really wanted to do was call him out on the whole "I got the idea after the Exxon-Valdez spill" bullshit. That was 21 years ago bro, you funded this mad scientist experiment 15 years ago.  

You know what else you did 15 years ago? That's right, Waterworld. So don't tell me you got this idea looking at pictures of oil covered birds because I know you got it staring at Jeanne Tripplehorn's tits. We all know this machine was being built to control the world when the ice caps melt not to save the Gulf of Mexico.

Anyways, regardless of his true intentions, if Robin Hood does manage to save mini season he is officially invited to come join us for our annual lobster dinner feast.