The Salty Meter

Welcome to the Salty Meter. Scroll down to find out how salty your favorite lobsterman is.*

This is still a work in progress and new scores will continue to be added. The rankings are based on a very sophisticated system of how how nice we are feeling and how drunk we are when we decide the score.

THE ZIPP

Rookie Performance: 1.5

Experience: 6.5
Catching Ability: 

Intangibles: 6.5
Drinking Ability:

Overall Saltiness: 5 lobster tails

CAPTAIN AWESOME

Rookie Performance:

Experience:
Catching Ability: 7.5

Intangibles: 9
Drinking Ability:

Overall Saltiness: 8.5 lobster tails

MR. WOLF

Rookie Performance:

Experience: 10
Catching Ability: 

Intangibles: 8
Drinking Ability:

Overall Saltiness: 9 lobster tails

FRANK

Rookie Performance:

Experience:
Catching Ability: 9.5

Intangibles: 5
Drinking Ability:

Overall Saltiness: 7.5 lobster tails

DONK

Rookie Performance: 6

Experience:
Catching Ability: 

Intangibles:
Drinking Ability: 7

Overall Saltiness: 6.5 lobster tails

KENNY

Rookie Performance:
Experience: 7

Catching Ability: 

Intangibles: 7

Drinking Ability:

Overall Saltiness: 7 lobster tails

GORDON

Rookie Performance: 5

Experience:

Catching Ability: 

Intangibles:

Drinking Ability: 8

Overall Saltiness: 6.5 lobster tails

BURNS

Rookie Performance:

Experience:

Catching Ability: 

Intangibles: 7

Drinking Ability: 5

Overall Saltiness: 6 lobster tails

SACK

Rookie Performance:

Experience:

Catching Ability: 0

Intangibles: 

Drinking Ability: 9.5

Overall Saltiness: 5 lobster tails

BRETT

Rookie Performance:

Experience: 9

Catching Ability: 10

Intangibles: 

Drinking Ability: 

Overall Saltiness: 9.5 lobster tails

*All rankings are subject to change based on future performance and bribes.