Catching Ability
Sack
While Sack may have a lot of positive qualities, catching lobster is not one of them. His natural ability to fail at getting below the surface of the water has pretty much resulted in him being relegated to the on-board veteran. His job is to oversee the remeasuring of the lobsters and keeping track of the catch count. Over the last two trips Sack has not managed to catch a single lobster, be it legal or short. Some off-season pool training may soon be required because until he can at least catch a baby lobster his score in this category is going to be painful.
Total Catching Ability Score: 0
Experience
Brett
One of the most experienced lobstermen on our trip Brett has been catching lobsters since before he could swim. Rumor has it that his family operates like the ancient Spartans, if you can't catch lobsters by age 7 you are sent to walk the plank and left for the ghost lobster to decide your fate. The only people with more experience than Brett are the old salty dogs who initiated him. While there is a lot to say about that, it does mean that he has a few more years to go before we can crown him a full 10.
Total Experience Score: 9
Drinking Ability
Burns
Back in the day Burns was no slouch when it came to drinking, but lately things like "a career" and "being a vagina" seem to have taken its toll on his ability to knock back Busch Lights. I'm not saying Burns can't keep up with the group, but I am saying he has lost a step in his old age. The fact that he spent one year complaining about a belly ache rather than getting drunk and forgetting about it, like a true salty lobster pirate, means that he will have to step it up this year if he wants to prove he is still a major player.
Total Drinking Ability Score: 5
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