GULF OIL SPILL

People Rejoice as Balls Found in Keys Are Not From Gulf

The Coast Guard announced Wednesday morning that the blobs of tar that washed up in the Florida Keys earlier this week are not related to the Gulf of Mexico oil spill.

The Coast Guard analyzed the tar balls as evidence mounted that at least some oil from the spill soon would arrive in South Florida.

The analysis determined conclusively that the tar balls collected from the Keys beaches do not match the type of oil from the gulf spill, the agency announced in a news release. The source of the pollution is unknown. LA Times

After taste testing the balls that washed up in Key West the Coast Guard announced that they don't taste like any of the balls they have licked from the Gulf oil spill. 

While this is good news, it does beg the question of where these came from if not the Gulf. I'm gonna go with my gut here and say that the Ghost Lobster planted those balls on the beach to try and scare people into cancelling their mini season plans. 

What he failed to take into account was the astute ball licking skills of the Keys Coast Guard. Of course I am just assuming that they tested the balls by licking them, they may have a less accurate scientific method that they used.