GULF OIL SPILL

Is it Time to PANIC?!

BP PLC, facing rising public anger in the U.S., began Monday its third attempt to contain oil from its leaking well in the Gulf of Mexico, but the risky operation could make the spill worse in the short term.

The latest procedure involves slicing off the leaking pipe at the top of the well's broken blow-out preventer, placing a cap over the leak and channeling the captured oil and gas to a vessel on the surface. BP officials said the procedure could take from four days to a week, and it already has two different caps on the ocean floor, ready to be deployed. Wall Street Journal

Over the weekend BP has admitted that the latest effort to stop the leak, operation "top kill," has failed. But no one worry because they announced today that they have a NEW PLAN!!! Oh boy, a new plan! I'm really sure this one is the one. 

Look, I am all for BP using creative solutions to fix this problem but something tells me that they have already exhausted the things that they really thought might work. I mean you don't save your best stuff for plan number four or five or whatever number they are up to at this point. 

I am staying as optimistic as anyone that this bullshit won't affect mini season this year, but we are 57 days out and now BP is saying this latest plan might INCREASE the oil. Throw in the possibility that a hurricane can cause some unforeseeable mess and I ask you this, is it time to panic?

GULF OIL SPILL

Do You Want the Good News or the Bad News First?

BP's risky "top kill" of its ruptured Deepwater Horizon well appeared to stop the oil flow Thursday, but new data showed the Gulf of Mexico leak had already become the worst in U.S. history.

Coast Guard chief Thad Allen, who is co-ordinating the U.S. government's battle against spill, said the "top kill" maneuver begun on Wednesday by BP to plug the leak had stopped the gush of oil from the mile-deep well.

But he cautioned it was still too early to declare victory as the British energy giant pumps heavy drilling liquids, dubbed mud, into the fractured wellhead to beat back the flow of oil, before sealing it with concrete.

But government scientists confirmed fears that the Gulf of Mexico spill is set to be the worst in U.S. history, saying oil was flowing out at a rate up to four times higher than previously estimated.

Unveiling new data, they said the oil had been gushing from the burst pipe at a rate of between 12,000 to 19,000 barrels a day — much higher than the previous estimate of 5,000 barrels a day. Montreal Gazette

No way! BP underestimated the amount of oil coming out of the pipes? I don't believe it for a second. If it is any consolation at least its not the worst oil spill in the history of the world... yet.

Finally, mini season is looking a little brighter and its never too early to start celebrating, right George?

2 MONTHS TO GO

There are definitely worse ways to die.

GULF OIL SPILL

The Revolution WILL Be Televised

BP says it will continue to provide a live video feed of the ruptured pipe gushing oil into the Gulf of Mexico during Wednesday's planned top kill procedure to seal the well. CNN

Apparently, BP has changed its tune and will grant the teeming masses a front row seat to "Top Kill", which is being billed as a viscous-pumping thriller starring the unstoppable and daring tandem of Maverick and James Bond as they attempt to plug the indomitable oil spill. "Tower, this is Ghost Lobster requesting a flyby."

BP could not dramatize, to its detriment, this disaster anymore if it hired Jerry Bruckheimer. Why not just call it BP's "If-This-Fails-Fuck-It-You-Deal-With-It-Obama-Top-Kill". That is where this has to be going if your six thousandth proposed solution is called Top Kill. BP is already setting itself up for failure by using this stupid name that any casual observer would perceive to be the end-all solution based on the name Top Kill. Meanwhile, the method is expected to unleash for your viewing pleasure a lot more oil from the open pipe than is currently being released and only has a 60% percent chance of succeeding (about what Shaq shoots from the line), not to mention that this is the first time it is being attempted at such a deep depth.

Anyway, get your popcorn ready. Here's hoping Top Kill is successful:

ITS ALIVE!!!

The Future of Mini Season has Arrived

On December 12, 2009 I had a vision, an epiphany if you will. For over five months I have been working on my top secret project (along with a few trusted insiders) that will reinvent the mini season game. I am proud to announce that today my vision has finally come to life.

My masterpiece will be unveiled at this year's mini season and I promise it will be well worth the hype. It will strike fear into the hearts of lobsters and envy into the hearts of all others.

This project has been a labor of love and dedication to every detail. If I am remembered for anything in life, it might just be this. So stick around because on July 28th lobster hunting will be changed forever.

GULF OIL SPILL

The Revolution Will Not be Televised

BP has told the chairman of the House subcommittee on energy and the environment that it will be killing the live feed video of the spill at the bottom of the Gulf of Mexico while it attempts to seal the well using the "top kill" procedure, Rep. Edward Markey said in a statement.

The statement said BP informed Markey's office the feed would be "terminated" sometime Wednesday. CNN

The live feed of the oil leak that we posted last week is going to be shut off on Wednesday while BP tries to fix this mess. Apparently they don't want everyone to see them screw up again. While I am not too sad that it won't be live, for one I wouldn't have time to watch it and for two I'm sure the feed would be bogged down by traffic, it would be nice to watch an edited version later on.

Its a pretty weak move by BP if you ask me, its obvious that they either don't want people to see something go horribly wrong or they want to release the video as a PR stunt. Of course if you ask the conspiracy theorists like me they would tell you that the real reason is that BP is in cahoots with the Ghost Lobster to ruin mini season, and that this attempt to plug the pipe is as faked as the moon landing.

THE SALTY METER

It is Spring and as you can see from several of the training regimens and our countdown clock we are reaching the peak training period for mini season. To help our team better focus on their "trouble zones" we are going to begin to unveil the salty meter. Here we will rank everyone in a variety of categories including but not limited to: Experience, catching skill, rookie performance, drinking ability, and intangibles.

Everyone will be ranked on a scale of 1-10 lobster tails (1 is probably going to be the lowest score) in all of the categories. You can also check this link for overall scores.

Today's Entries

Experience:

Mr. Wolf:
I believe the sheer fact that we still call him Mr. Wolf may be enough to justify an extremely high ranking but there is even more to this salty dog. While he has only physically been with us on one trip, he has been catching lobster, with his bare teeth, longer than any of us have been alive. Born and raised in South Florida Mr. Wolf has been participating in lobster season since before there was a lobster season. We aren't exactly sure how old he is, but we are pretty sure he has more experience than all of us combined.
total experience lobsters: 10

Intangibles:

Captain Awesome:

Don't be deceived by the title. The "captain" is not in regards to his position on the boat, it instead refers to the fact that he pretty much saves our asses at least once a trip. A quick selection of the multiple things John brings to the table

Tide Charts: Check
Empty lot to store the boat trailer for 11.75 months: Check
Knowledge to fix the engine (while at sea) multiple times: Check

The only thing that is keeping Captain Awesome from a 10 out of 10 in intangibles is his life threatening allergy to all dairy and wheat products. This really makes it a pain in the ass to cook the lobster feast.

Good luck improving on that.
total intangible lobsters: 9

Rookie Performance:

The Zipp:

His explosion onto the lobstering scene was more than 15 years ago. He immediately underwhelmed. His rookie exploits:

• Throw a lobster tail away
• Inability to catch a lobster
• Swimming test-not yet in place
  
• Probable Sunburn (it was a really a long time ago but this probably happened)

The first two points are enough to lower his rookie performance significantly but not enough to totally sink him. To be fair a lot of people fail to catch a keeper on their first or even second trip. What really hurts his score is that he had the opportunity to jump in after the tail he so nonchalantly threw into the canal to save it, however, he didn't make that effort.

He is hampered a little bit by not having had the opportunity for a structured swimming test like so many of our newer recruits which may have helped salvage his score.

The only thing preventing a 1 lobster score for Josh is the fact that every newbie gets to here the story about a tail getting thrown into the water, which has since eliminated this problem.
total rookie performance score: 1.5

LOBSTER LINGO

Saltiness [sal-T-nes]
- adjective
Inflected form: Salty, Saltiest, Saltier

1. A level of value that can be used to describe an individual or group's experience and general worth while on a mini-season (or other nautical) trip. While tenure and experience can effect ones saltiness, it is derived by a much larger group of factors.

Synonyms: scurvyness

Example: The level of Josh's saltiness decreased significantly when he threw a lobster tail in the water instead of its head.

GULF OIL SPILL

BP will Attempt "Top-Kill" Later this Week

BP aims to start its ’top-kill’ operation at the MC252 well in the Gulf of Mexico later this week. The process, it said, will involve injecting heavy drilling fluids into the well to stem the flow of the estimated at 5000 barrels a day (b/d) of oil, and ultimately kill the well.

“Successfully killing the well may be followed by cement to seal the well. Most of the equipment is on site and preparations continue for this operation, with a view to deployment in a few days,” said a BP statement on 24 May. The Engineer

BP Lead Scientist: Gentlemen its been five weeks and not one thing we have done has worked. We need solutions people! Anyone?.... Someone has to have an idea, come on speak up.... thank you, Johnson what do you got?

Johnson: Well this might sound kind of crazy but hear me out. What if we plug up the pipe so that the oil can't leak out?

BP Lead Scientist: Holy shit! Plug the hole! What a great idea, you are a genius Johnson, someone give that man a raise.

Seriously? I mean there must be something I am missing here because you would think that plugging the damn hole would be the first thing that BP would have tried. At the beginning when they were attempting all these wacky solutions I figured it was because they couldn't seal the pipe without it backing up and causing some worse problem, but apparently BP was just trying to salvage its oil or something.

Can we please get on this before Florida starts to look like this?

TRAINING FOR THE TRIP

Lobster!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

By Josh Zipper

August - November: Enjoy another missed miniseason vicariously through photos, videos, emails, etc. exchanged between (unmarried/unemployed) people who attended. Depressed that the picture column to the left is devoid of pictures of yours truly.

November - February: Delude myself into believing I am going to attend this year, to wit: "This is the year I end my 2 1/2 year drought!" "Screw work!" "Great countdown email from Frank!" "Wife can take separate vacation with girlfriends!" "Lobster!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"

February - March: Proudly unearth dust-clad fins, snorkel and mask; Defiantly unsheath tattered dive flag from equally-unused golf bag and clubs; Sharpen bloody (i.e. rusty) dive knife. Dislodge net and tickle stick from rake. This is the year!!!!!!

March - April: Watch deadline to pay housing deposit come and go without sending check. Pull soon-to-be expiring seniority card and get an extension on house reservation check from B-Man.

April - May: Check not sent. Likely not going. Eyeing post-miniseason weekend binge in Key West to save face.

June - July: Someone dropped out. Sucks for them, great for me! Frantically call B-Man to confirm I am in. Like, definitely. Well, definitely, likely. Probably. I'll get back to you, but I'm in for sure. Can't go. Yeah, money, work, you know the story. Yeah, next year, for sure, absolutely. Next year is the year.

August - November: Sadly, repeat the foregoing training regimen.............

GULF OIL SPILL

Live Video Feed of Oil Leak Now Available

A live video feed that shows the oil gushing from the blown-out well in the Gulf of Mexico is now available online.

The video shows a large plume of oil and gas still spewing next to the tube that's carrying some of it to the surface.

Congressman Ed Markey of Massachusetts pushed BP PLC to make the video available to the public. It's now posted on the Web site of the Select Committee on Energy Independent and Global Warming. WITN-TV NBC

Not the most uplifting video but if you want to watch it click here.

LOBSTER LESSONS

Where Do Lobsters Hide?

Lobsters move during the night and camp out in hiding spots during the daytime. This is why there are two different types of lobster hunting, bully netting and diving. Bully netting is used at night while the lobsters are out in the open on the move and lobster hunters dive for them during the day while they are sitting still in hiding.

If you are hunting lobsters during the daytime there are a few places that you are most likely to find the bugs. Lobsters like to back into small dark locations such as under rocks, in holes on the seas floor, under coral, or into man-made "casitas". It is legal to take lobster from any natural places but it is not legal to take them from man-made objects like barrels, lobster traps, cement blocks, etc. 

When looking for lobsters keep a sharp eye out for their two large antenna which are almost always protruding from their hiding place. This is the key to finding lobster on the ocean floor. 

GULF OIL SPILL

Roy McAvoy Saves Mini Season

"Field of Dreams" star Kevin Costner has another dream -- helping to clean up the massive oil spill that has contaminated the Gulf of Mexico over the past few weeks.

BP has approved a test of Costner’s Ocean Therapy device to help the company clean up the Gulf after its Deepwater Horizon drill rig exploded and began spewing oil into the water, officials said today.

The machine -- described as a processing device that separates oil from water -- was first developed by scientists hired by Costner following the 1989 Exxon-Valdez oil spill off the coast of Alaska.

“The machines are basically sophisticated centrifuge devices that can handle a huge volume of water and separate at unprecedented rates,” Ocean Therapy Solutions CEO John Houghtaling told CBS's New Orleans affiliate WWL-TV.

“They were developed from older centrifuge technology. Normal centrifuge machines are very slow and sensitive to different ratios of oil to water mixtures at intake. Costner has been funding a team of scientists for the last 15 years to develop a technology which could be used for massive oil spills. New York Post

It's about time Kevin Costner has done something worthwhile. I mean Tip Cup was released in 1996 and since then we've gotten what? 3000 Miles to Graceland and Swing Vote (I love bad movies and even I couldn't stand 3000 Miles to Graceland).

Anyway the real reason I posted this was not to praise Kevin Costner's super robots, everyone knows that even if they work the Ghost Lobster will just sabotage them. What I really wanted to do was call him out on the whole "I got the idea after the Exxon-Valdez spill" bullshit. That was 21 years ago bro, you funded this mad scientist experiment 15 years ago.  

You know what else you did 15 years ago? That's right, Waterworld. So don't tell me you got this idea looking at pictures of oil covered birds because I know you got it staring at Jeanne Tripplehorn's tits. We all know this machine was being built to control the world when the ice caps melt not to save the Gulf of Mexico.

Anyways, regardless of his true intentions, if Robin Hood does manage to save mini season he is officially invited to come join us for our annual lobster dinner feast.

GULF OIL SPILL

People Rejoice as Balls Found in Keys Are Not From Gulf

The Coast Guard announced Wednesday morning that the blobs of tar that washed up in the Florida Keys earlier this week are not related to the Gulf of Mexico oil spill.

The Coast Guard analyzed the tar balls as evidence mounted that at least some oil from the spill soon would arrive in South Florida.

The analysis determined conclusively that the tar balls collected from the Keys beaches do not match the type of oil from the gulf spill, the agency announced in a news release. The source of the pollution is unknown. LA Times

After taste testing the balls that washed up in Key West the Coast Guard announced that they don't taste like any of the balls they have licked from the Gulf oil spill. 

While this is good news, it does beg the question of where these came from if not the Gulf. I'm gonna go with my gut here and say that the Ghost Lobster planted those balls on the beach to try and scare people into cancelling their mini season plans. 

What he failed to take into account was the astute ball licking skills of the Keys Coast Guard. Of course I am just assuming that they tested the balls by licking them, they may have a less accurate scientific method that they used.

GULF OIL SPILL

BP Sucks Twice as Much as They Did Yesterday

BP has reported further progress in stemming a gushing Gulf of Mexico oil spill as concerns grew for Florida's sensitive coral reefs and political fallout from the disaster spread.

The British energy giant, which has been struggling to contain the disaster, said on Tuesday a tube inserted into a leaking oil pipe is now sucking up about 40 per cent of the crude, about twice as much as it did one day earlier.

The company said its "riser insertion tube tool" is estimated to be carrying about 2,000 barrels a day of oil up to the Discoverer Enterprise drill ship on the surface via a mile-long pipe. The Sydney Morning Herald


It appears BP has doubled their sucking today over fears that oil in Key West will upset the gay lobby. I mean the last thing that BP wants is for the gays to turn against them. Its bad enough having a bunch of drunk fishermen and lobster hunters after you, no need to piss off more people. Before you know it Perez Hilton will be blogging about it and the last thing I need is to lose my Pulitzer Prize to that ass-wipe.

GULF OIL SPILL

Seeing Balls Upsets Key West Residents for First Time in History

Scientists are trying to determine whether 20 tar balls, some as big as softballs, found close to shore down in Key West Monday night have come from the massive Gulf oil spill.

The twenty balls of tar were found by members of the Florida Park Service who were doing a shoreline survey in Fort Zachary Taylor State Park, according to the U.S. Coast Guard.

A lab analysis will determine the origin of the balls, which were between three and eight inches in diameter. Officials said it could take three to five days to determine the source of the tar balls.

Most people in Key West are pretty familiar with balls, so when they spot some that appear out of the ordinary you know something is up. In all seriousness though, these tar balls look pretty legit. I was expecting something much smaller but they look like piles of cow crap. Although I have no clue where else these things would come from other than the Gulf lets hope these tests come back negative because after looking at those things I really don't want to be dodging cow pie meteorites while I'm dragging the bay.

TRAINING FOR THE TRIP

One Week? I Better Get in Shape

by Kenny Case

Month 12 - 6: Sleep, watch TV, drink beer.

Month 5 - 3: Think about how tasty lobster is, ask for time off work, drink beer.

Month 2 - 1: Work on tan, walk around house in dive gear, drink beer.

Week 4 - 2: Ignore work, annoy people with talk about mini season, drink beer.

Week 1: Practice holding breath, swim a couple laps in pool, realize I'm better prepared to drink beer then hunt lobster.

GULF OIL SPILL

Catheter is Catching One-Fifth of the Oil

BP Plc said it is capturing 1,000 barrels of oil a day from a mile-long pipeline connected to its leaking well in the Gulf of Mexico, about a fifth of the estimated flow rate.

“We’ll trying to increase that rate, carefully and slowly,” Doug Suttles, BP’s chief operating officer for exploration and production, said today at a press conference in Robert, Louisiana. “If we could get half or more, if we could see this actually recovering 2,000 barrels a day, we would all be extraordinarily pleased.” Bloomberg Buisnessweek

Seems like this catheter had a lot of hype for such a pathetic result. I mean 20% wouldn't even get me a D- in school. Hopefully they can get the production up to 40% like they are claiming may be possible. Of course these numbers are only accurate if you believe BP's claim that only 5000 gallons per day are leaking. Since they won't allow any independent measurements of the leak the actual amount is probably higher than that. 

Bonus points if you know how this picture of Bruce Willis ties into this blog.

GULF OIL SPILL

Loop Current Update

Sattelite observations and computer models show part of the slick from BP Plc’s leaking well in the Gulf of Mexico has entered the current that carries water toward the U.S. East Coast and Europe, a Florida scientist said.

Florida will dispatch a survey vessel this week to determine how much oil from the leak is in the “Loop Current,” William Hogarth, dean of the University of South Florida College of Marine Science, said today in an interview. San Fransisco Chronicle


So the initial report that the oil may have leaked into the Loop Current appears to be true. I guess we will know more about the threat later this week once the survey vessel has had a chance to measure the amount of oil in the water. 

For all you mini season lobster hunters out there the results of this survey are gonna be big news. Once we know how much oil is headed towards the Keys we will have a better understanding of how it may impact the fishing and lobster hunting in the region. Sounds like it will be a few days at least before we have any solid information but check back for more details as they become available.

GULF OIL SPILL

BP Catheter  Working Just in Time for Oil to Enter Loop Current

Oil company engineers on Sunday finally succeeded in keeping some of the oil gushing from a blown well out of the Gulf of Mexico, hooking up a mile-long tube to funnel the crude into a tanker ship after more than three weeks of failures.

Millions of gallons of crude are already in the water, however, and researchers said the black ooze may have entered a major current that could carry it through the Florida Keys and around to the East Coast. Associated Press


One step forward, two steps back. The leak appears to be slightly under control, unfortunately the oil may already be in the Loop Current, which means it could be headed for the Keys. At this point it appears any oil that may have entered the current is probably minimal and hopefully controllable. I'm not sure what percentage of the oil is being contained but some is better than nothing. 

Hey, if nothing else at least this lucky pelican got a bath from a couple of lesbians. What I wouldn't give to be a bird covered in oil right now.

GULF OIL SPILL

Some Hope After Second Catheter Attempt Thwarted by Robots

After workers successfully installed the tube, which is like inserting one straw into another, gas found its way to the surface and was flared, showing that tube had successfully funneled gas and some oil from the leak. But then an ROV umbilical line got entangled with the insertion tube and pulled it out of the riser pipe. BP declined to answer questions about the operation, saying that federal officials will provide more information later in the day.

It was a setback for the spill recovery effort, though it shows there is some chance of containing part of the leak in the near future. Washington Post

Despite the failure of this second attempt at least there is now some evidence that it might work. It would have been nice to wake up and see that the mission was a success, but at the rate this thing is going a partial success is better than any other news we have heard. Lets keep our fingers crossed that if there is a third attempt it will go more smoothly.

This story sounds a little fishy to me, I don't want to jump to conclusions here but I am going to guess that ROV was not the sole cause of the tube getting pulled out. This has Ghost Lobster written all over it, and even if the Ghost Lobster did't pull that thing out himself I guarantee you he has the machines working for him by now. I mean those ROVs have been down there plenty long enough for the Ghost Lobster to reprogram them to do his bidding. Don't say we didn't warn you.

GULF OIL SPILL

First Catheter Attempt Fails

An attempt to use a mile-long tube to capture most of the oil gushing from a well at the bottom of the Gulf of Mexico failed on the first try, but technicians were working Saturday night to put the pipe in place, BP officials said. Washington Post

Well if there is any bright side to this mess it is that BP's complete lack of competence may discourage a good portion of people from coming down to try and steal my lobsters. Of course that only counts if there actually is a mini season this year.

GULF OIL SPILL

Condom #2 Scratched in Favor of Catheter

Engineers worked into early Friday to position a tube at the largest oil leak site in the Gulf of Mexico—the latest effort to curb the crude gushing from a busted underwater well.

The six-inch wide tube, which will fit inside the leaking one and is surrounded by a rubber flap, will be connected to a ship above to siphon off the oil.

A BP spokesman said it should be operational within the next several days. Toronto star

Apparently BP has decided to go in a new direction by holding off on trying to cap the leak with their "top hat" condom. Instead they have chosen to insert a tube into the oil spill's pee-hole and siphon the oil to a tanker on the ocean surface. 

As usually there is no guarantee that this will work, but it is guaranteed to be rather uncomfortable.

Click here for a larger view of BP's latest plan.

GULF OIL SPILL

BP Condom #1 Fail

Here is a video of the ruptured oil pipes and BP's first failed attempt to cover the leak. No word yet on the outcome or progress of their second attempt. Ghost Lobster 1, BP 0.

GULF OIL SPILL

Oil Spill Condom, Round 2

The "top hat" oil containment device has reached the sea floor in the Gulf of Mexico and should be in position over a leaking well head and operational by the end of the week, BP said Wednesday.

Secretary of the Interior Ken Salazar said the success of this latest attempt to cap the well could be known in the next few days.

"On this Thursday, we should know whether or not this alternative top hat cofferdam is going to work," Salazar said on CNN's "The Situation Room." "And then the next key date is Saturday, because by Saturday they will have the diagnostics completed through X-rays and gamma rays and pressure ratings to be able to make decisions about what the next steps are." CNN


BP is planning to attempt a second covering of the well this week. At least this time they sound a little more prepared and I am a little more optimistic about the potential for condom #2. Apparently high winds have been pushing the oil more towards the north than towards the Loop Current so if this attempt to stem the flow of oil is successful then the prospects for an uninterrupted mini season are starting to look bright.

This condom wont stop the leak completely but at least it should make containing the spill more manageable. For now all we can do is keep our fingers crossed until tomorrow.

LOBSTER LINGO

FWC [ef-dubh-uhl-yoo-see]
- noun

1. An acronym that stands for "Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission," which is Florida's fish and wildlife law enforcement agency. During mini season they are in charge of making sure no on is boating dirty.

Synonyms: Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission, Po-Po, 5-0.

Example: I'm nor sure why the FWC pulled us over, our harpoon is totally legal.

GULF OIL SPILL

BP Throws Shit Against the Wall, Sees What Sticks

Workers haven’t given up hope on the dome completely. They could possibly use heat to prevent the ice crystals from forming or use methanol. Another solution officials are considering, clogging the leak up with trash. CBS News 9 - Greenville, NC

Really BP? This is your backup plan? You are going to shove a bunch of garbage into the well and hope that it stops the oil flow. I really hope this reporter just made this story up, because this can't be true, right? So courtesy of BP not only will our lobsters be covered in oil but they will all have six pack rings around them. Of course, if I caught one lobster who was attached to five others like a pack of Busch Light I might change my tune. 

GULF OIL SPILL

BP Dome Pwned by Ice Crystals

It could be at least a day before BP can make another attempt at putting a lid on a well spewing thousands of gallons of crude into the Gulf of Mexico, as a big box meant to siphon the oil away sat idle and encased in ice crystals.

The company's first attempt to divert the oil was foiled, its mission now in serious doubt. Meanwhile, thick blobs of tar washed up on Alabama's white sand beaches, yet another sign the spill was worsening.

It had taken about two weeks to build the box and three days to cart it 50 miles out and slowly lower it to the well a mile below the surface, but the frozen depths were just too much. BP officials were not giving up hopes that a containment box — either the one brought there or another one being built — could cover the well. But they said it could Monday or later before they decide whether to make another attempt to capture the oil and funnel it to a tanker at the surface would be tried. Associated Press

Well so much for the super dome/funnel, whatever it is. It seemed too good to be true, but I was really hoping it would work. Sucks, but what do you expect, the Ghost Lobster would not let such a diabolical plan be ruined by a pansy ass little metal box, it was just too simple

Anyway, back to the drawing board for BP, they better start to figure this shit out quick because the days are ticking down and this thing is not going away on its own.

GHOST LOBSTER STRIKES AGAIN!

Could the Ghost Lobster have Caused the Oil Rig Explosion?

So a question has been posed in our comments section about whether the true cause of the oil rig explosion was the diabolical work of the Ghost Lobster. The answer to this question is 100% yes, there is no question in my mind that the Ghost Lobster was behind this. Not only is the Ghost Lobster highly sneaky and manipulative but he is the only marine creature with the ability to pull of such a feat. Let's look at some of the clues that support this theory:

     (1)     Oil floats - The Ghost Lobster knew that attacking an oil rig meant the contaminants would only effect the surface of the ocean. This would not only force humans to cease diving activities because they would have to climb through the oil but at the same time it would not affect the lobsters because they live like cowards on the underneath rocks at the bottom of the ocean.

     (2)     The Loop Current - By attacking a rig located in the Gulf of Mexico the Ghost Lobster knew that the oil would sit around in the gulf for a while but would eventually be swept through the keys via the Loop Current. The ghost lobster knew this would ensure a steady stream of oil which would disrupt mini season.

     (3)     The explosion was at 9:45 PM - It is well known that lobsters travel and operate at night, and the Ghost Lobster is no different.

     (4)     No survivors - The Ghost Lobster is ruthless and will do anything and everything he can to escape capture, even if that means taking out each and every witness.

     (5)     The spill is continuous - The attack was planned perfectly so that the Ghost Lobster would not be the prime suspect because mini season is still a long time off, but do not be fooled by this slight of hand. The rig was damaged in such a way that the emergency shut off valve failed, resulting in the oil continuously pouring into the ocean, which could last until mini season.

     (6)     There was no sign of the Ghost Lobster - The best sign the Ghost Lobster was there is that there is  no sign the Ghost Lobster was there.

So there you have it, six indisputable facts that point straight to the true culprit. He may have the rest of the world fooled, but not us. We know the Ghost Lobster is out there and that he is laughing maniacally at all of us. Well his time will come, and when we finally catch him and wring his tail, we will be the ones to have the last laugh.

AFTER THE CATCH

Keepin' it Fresh

So, you've caught a lobster, measured it twice and low and behold its a legal bug. Well you aren't going to throw it back, so what do you do with it? Hopefully you thought about this one before you drove into the middle of the ocean, because if you didn't its a little late now, but for those of you planning ahead here is what you are gonna need:

     1.     A LARGE cooler, after all you do plan on catching a lot of lobster don't you? -  It gets really hot in that high noon sun of the Keys and you don't want your lobsters cooking because you cant close the lid (like in this photo). While most any cooler will suffice I would suggest getting something high quality and durable, it will be worth the investment, you don't want your ice melting because of poor insulation. Basically this means do not buy a $10 Styrofoam cooler from Publix on your drive down. 

     2.     A lot of ice, the goal is to keep the lobsters cold. - You need to have enough ice to create a layer on the bottom of the cooler that will not melt during the time you are out at sea. The better the cooler the less ice you will need, just make sure you leave some rooms for the lobsters!

          

A cooler and some ice, thats about it, no big secret to this one. You don't need to give the lobsters water or salt water or store them in anything fancy like a live well, just stick them on some ice and let them chill. The ice will keep the meat fresh and the lobsters dazed.

GULF OIL SPILL

Oil Spill Could Reach Keys Within the Week

Nick Shay, a physical oceanographer at the University of Miami Rosenstiel School of Marine and Atmospheric Science, suspects that oil is already getting into the periphery of the Loop Current and will likely end up in the Keys "relatively quickly."

"Certainly within a week," Shay said. "It will impact coral reefs and fisheries and the ecosystem of the entire Florida Keys."

And that has some Keys residents starting to worry.

"I am not going to lie and say we haven't been discussing it amongst ourselves. But it doesn't seem like there is a whole lot we can do about it here. We are so utterly helpless," said Luke Abbey, an employee at Subtropic Dive Center in Key West. "Our money is made on the water. So, if there is an oil slick on the water, there is no diving."

He said there are three sports in Key West: "Drinking, fishing and diving. In that order. The only thing that is not going to be affected is drinking." Bloomberg Buisnessweek

So it doesn't look like the oil is going to be contained anywhere near in time for mini season. If that means no diving then that basically means no mini season, but I am not abandoning all hope just yet. As a backup plan I may have to start working on my bullynetting skills, because we all know how well that turned out last time.

GULF OIL SPILL

The catastrophic oil spill that is currently going on in the Gulf is becoming worrisome for the prospects of this year's mini season. I have not found any information regarding its possible effect on the lobsters but we will continue to monitor this development and post any relevant information.

This spill is well on its way to becoming the worst in history. I don't see how they will manage to contain this thing anytime soon unless their proposed containment dome actually works. Let's keep our fingers crossed that it does. 

For people who may want to help, here is a site to get you started http://www.oilspillvolunteers.com/. For everyone like me who is too lazy to actually clean oil off rocks, the least we can do is boycott BP and send a donation to a good cause. I'll have to sort through some organizations before deciding who its best to donate to, but once I figure it out I'll post a link to their website.

P.S. BP better pray they don't ruin mini season because if they do there is no telling what I may be capable of.