MINI SEASON

Mini Season Bitches!

Good luck today.

WELCOME TO THE KEYS

Mini Season Starts This Week

Well the time we have all been waiting for is finally here. Mini season starts this week and we arrived in the Keys yesterday. The viz is not nearly as bad as we thought it might be, the storm doesn't seem to have stirred up too much junk. 

For those of you heading down this week remember to drive safe, we were stuck in traffic for an hour and a half because of some dumb ass. Besides there are always cops all along Hwy 1 and you don't want to start off your trip with a $200 ticket.

WEATHER REPORT

Tropical Storm Approaches Keys

Heavy rain continues to fall in Haiti, the Dominican Republic, Puerto Rico, the Virgin Islands and the Lesser Antilles.

It is moving off toward the west at 10 to 15 mph. That motion and speed should bring the system toward southern Florida Friday. Showers, gusty winds and increasing surf could arrive as early as Thursday night in advance of the system.

After the system passes by Florida Friday night it should move toward the central or eastern Gulf coast. On that projected path the system would pass near or to the east of the oil spill in the northern Gulf of Mexico. The Weather Channel

Ha! Tropical storm... please. Unless its a Category 28 hurricane I don't care. In less than a week from now I am going to be diving for lobsters even if looks like the 50 year storm out there. 

Indications are that this is gonna be well into the Gulf, spreading oil all over Louisiana by the time we get to the keys, but I'm sure we will have to deal with some vis problems as a result. Last year was the first good vis trip in a while so it sucks to have to think about going back to trying to catch bugs in pea soup.

GULF OIL SPILL

Latest Fisheries Closure

No news is good news as far as I am concerned at this point.

GULF OIL SPILL

BP Plans to Stop Oil Leak (No, Really)

BP may be able to hold back the flow from its blown out Macondo well until next month, sparing the Gulf of Mexico any more oil as engineers prepare to kill the source for good.

Doug Suttles, BP's chief operating officer, said that a new cap fitted on the well's broken riser pipe last week will be kept closed indefinitely, blocking further oil from leaking into the water, while scientists continue a "well integrity test" to check for leaks below the sea bed.

Unless data readings taken inside the well indicate trouble, he said, BP hoped to keep the cap shut "all the way along to the point where we can get the well killed" - a procedure that is due to begin in the final days of July and should be complete by 13 August. 

The kill process is the only method that can end the crisis, sealing the well permanently with mud and cement, though keeping the cap closed should ensure that no further oil is spilled in the meantime. Scotsman

Could it be true? Could the end be near? At this point I am not getting my hopes up. I am just glad that after months of agonizing suspense I can feel 100% confident that this will not affect mini season... at least not this year.

Its nice to know that our trip to the keys will not be interrupted but I can't help to think about what damage this could do to the reefs. Hopefully BP can actually shut this thing off finally, especially since they opened it up last week and have been letting it spew oil unabated in order to put this new cap on.

THE SALTY METER

Click HERE for overall scores.

Intangibles

Mr. Wolf

The last time Mr. Wolf joined us on a trip he managed to find us a place to stay for free. I'm not sure if the owners actually knew we were staying there but thats besides the point. He also lends a lot of credit to our group by virtue of his full, gray beard. The rest of us schmucks show up looking like we have been sitting in a cubicle for the last 363 days, but not Mr. Wolf. Any boat that sees him skippering our vessel knows right away that there are some salty bastards aboard.

Total Intangibles Score: 8


Catching Ability

Brett

The success of our mini season lives and dies with Brett's performance. When it comes to catching lobster I would go as far as to say there are few who can rival Brett's speed and finesse. Not only does he catch lobsters faster than anyone, but he can do it with or without a tank AND without ripping off the lobsters' legs and antenna. Thus, ensuring any shorts he catches can grow-up big and strong to feed us next year. Until anyone can catch their limit in one quarter of the time Brett can I will consider him in a league of his own in this category.

Total Catching Score: 10


Experience

The Zipp

Zipper grew up lobstering in FL and he can certainly navigate his way around the boat and the keys. His main problem in this category is his patchy appearances at mini season. Although over the years Zipp has recorded many a mini season, he does not annually attend. For example, Zipp has taken the last two years off, but he is back now and hopefully has not lost a step. I think this inconsistency takes its toll more on his lobster catching skills than it does on his knowledge in other areas. When it comes to working the anchor, spotting lobster hiding spots from the bow of the boat, and taking care of gear when we get back Zipp never seems to miss a step.

Total Experience Score: 6.5

LOBSTER ALE

Take One Down and Pass it Around

When you are out shopping for some tasty beverages to take down to the Keys with you keep an eye out for this salty beer that I found. I happened to stumble across it at Total Wine, but I have no idea where else you would find it. 

Its actually not bad, and I can picture it going well with our lobster feast. Too bad its not made with lobster or it would be perfect.

Now I do realize this is a Maine lobster and typically I don't pay much attention to anything that has to do with those other guys, but when it come to a lobster beer beggars can't be choosers. So until Florida Brewing company comes out with a Florida lobster beer, Lobster Ale will have to be my lobster beer of choice.

THE SALTY METER

Click HERE for overall scores.


Intangibles

Frank

The Friz does bring a lot to the table. He bakes the banana bread each year for the ceremonial cutting of the bread, has lots of old salty dog stories about past trips, and tries to get lucky in the boat while we are all snorkeling. Unfortunately for Frank he gave lobsters herpes, which really hurt his score.

Total Intangibles score: 5


Rookie Performance

Gordon

Gordon is our most recent newbie, unfortunately for him we have no one new this season...so he is still bottom of the barrel (unless someone throws a tail in the water by accident). Gordon passed the swimming test by ripping the tail off of a bug and taking a bite out of the raw tail meat. Not quite sac level but not bad. His total lobster catch for his rookie year = 0, beers shotgunned = 8 or 9, and decks washed = 1. Not a bad overall performance but we are expecting a big step up this year.

Total Rookie Performance: 5

Drinking Ability

Sac

What he lacks in his ability to catch a lobster, sac makes up for in his in-ability to turn down a drink. You really only need to know two things about Sac's drinking ability:

1. I have never seen him turn down a drink.
2. Sac + alcoholic beverage = fun
   

No matter the time, when you need someone to drink with, you can count on sac to be by your side.

Total Drinking Score: 9.5 (We need to leave some room for improvement)

RECIPES FOR A MINI-SEASON FEAST

Lobster Stuffed Twice Baked Potatoes

Probably the most popular side dish at our annual lobster feast.

Ingredients

     1.     Potatoes (1 per person)

     2.     Lobster (1 tail per 2 whole potatoes)

     3.     Chives

     4.     Butter (1 Tablespoon/potato)

     5.     Sour Cream (to taste)

     6.     Milk (if you feel like being healthy)

     7.     Real Bacon Bits (Don't go Bacos)

     8.     Salt

     9.     Pepper

     10.   Shredded cheddar cheese (one bag usually does 4-5 potatoes)

Directions

Follow the instructions of how to de-shell the lobster tails. You will want to cook the lobster almost all the way through (allow a good 4-5 minutes of steaming for fresh tails).

Bake the Potatoes in an oven @ 400 degrees (the higher temp allows for a crispier skin) until you can easily put a fork into them.

Once the potatoes are finished take them out of the oven (you can let them cool if you want). Cut the potatoes in half (long ways) and using a spoon empty the white into a bowl.

To the bowl add half of your cheese and all the butter. Mash & add Sour - Cream and Milk until you have a fairly smooth consistency (think mashed potatoes). Add Bacon, half your chives, salt & pepper (go light here as you will add a little more later). Mix well

Chop Lobster into bite-sized pieces. Add lobster to bowl. Mix

Re-fill skins with filling (don't be afraid to over-stuff).

Top with remaining cheese & chives. Crack sea-salt and pepper on top.

Place back into the oven @ 400 for 5-10 minutes or until cheese is fully melted.

THE SALTY METER

Click HERE for overall scores.

Catching Ability

Sack

While Sack may have a lot of positive qualities, catching lobster is not one of them. His natural ability to fail at getting below the surface of the water has pretty much resulted in him being relegated to the on-board veteran. His job is to oversee the remeasuring of the lobsters and keeping track of the catch count. Over the last two trips Sack has not managed to catch a single lobster, be it legal or short. Some off-season pool training may soon be required because until he can at least catch a baby lobster his score in this category is going to be painful.

Total Catching Ability Score: 0


Experience

Brett

One of the most experienced lobstermen on our trip Brett has been catching lobsters since before he could swim. Rumor has it that his family operates like the ancient Spartans, if you can't catch lobsters by age 7 you are sent to walk the plank and left for the ghost lobster to decide your fate. The only people with more experience than Brett are the old salty dogs who initiated him. While there is a lot to say about that, it does mean that he has a few more years to go before we can crown him a full 10.

Total Experience Score: 9


Drinking Ability

Burns

Back in the day Burns was no slouch when it came to drinking, but lately things like "a career" and "being a vagina" seem to have taken its toll on his ability to knock back Busch Lights. I'm not saying Burns can't keep up with the group, but I am saying he has lost a step in his old age. The fact that he spent one year complaining about a belly ache rather than getting drunk and forgetting about it, like a true salty lobster pirate, means that he will have to step it up this year if he wants to prove he is still a major player.

Total Drinking Ability Score: 5

GULF OIL SPILL

Latests Fisheries Closure

No movement east this week. At this rate it does not appear that mini season will be effected.

NEW LICENSE PLATE

I'm Taking it to the Streets

So I went down to the DMV today to order my new license plate, and BAM! Take that BP. 

Unfortunately it is still subject to rejection by the man but I managed to get it past their first line of defense. Its gonna take at least a month for them to make it too so I won't have it in time for mini season unfortunately.

The lady that wrote it up for me thought it was pretty funny but she did mention a few times that she was worried I might get shot. I am putting my faith in the fact that most Floridians can detect sarcasm, hopefully I don't find out the hard way that I was wrong. 

GULF OIL SPILL

Things Going So Well that BP Decides to Fuck It All Up

BP removed a containment cap from its stricken Gulf of Mexico oil well on Saturday in the first step toward installing a bigger cap to contain all the crude gushing into the sea and fouling the coast.

The manoeuvre released a torrent of oil that will spew unrestrained into the Gulf for four to seven days -- the time BP says it will take to put in place a bigger cap and seal. Officials say the new cap would capture all the oil leaking from the well and funnel it 1 mile (1.6 km) upward to vessels on the water's surface. Business Standard

I know that I have been critical about the lack of news regarding BP's attempts to stop this leak lately but this is not what I was talking about. We are two weeks away from mini season and BP decides that they need to uncap the damn leak so it can pump maximum oil into the gulf over the next seven days?! 

How are these people still in business....

THE SALTY METER

Click Here for overall scores

Rookie Performance:

Donk:

I honestly don't remember too much about Donk's rookie performance. I am pretty sure it was 5 years ago. I do know that he bagged for me (not an easy job) and he probably pitched in more money for random shit than anyone else. Both were excellent attributes. The fact that nothing else really stands out about his performance probably says it wasn't too exceptional.

Total Rookie Performance Score: 6


Intangibles:

Burns (Boooerns):

Wit and Charm can only get you so far. Fortunately for him, Burns' charms produced one of the best moments of last years season. He video-taped two (American) girls who didn't know where Washington D.C. was....(no they were not strippers). Burns' score rests purely on this and on the fact that he is the only one that really tapes things, takes pictures, and actually sends them out. Needless to say this is a score that could have drastic swings based on this years season.

Total Intangibles Score: 7

Experience:

Kenny:

Two major things in his favor:
3rd most mini-season trips out of everyone in our group.2nd most consecutive trips in the group Both lean towards a powerful experience score. The only real issue with Kenny's experience is that he grew up in a land-locked town in Mass. He didn't really start training for lobster mini-season until living in Australia when he got his dive certification. He missed out on 22 years of practice like many of the Floridians on the trip have.

Total Experience Score: 7

SAVE THE LORELEI

Lorelei Under New Management Due to Bankruptcy

A trustee, and not Carl Lindback III, will have control over the famous Lorelei property on Upper Matecumbe Key while Lindback's Lorelei Associates goes through Chapter 11 bankruptcy reorganization. Keys News

So apparently the Lorelei has been run into the ground and they have filed bankruptcy to avoid a foreclosure. This is some bummer news for our group who frequent this watering hole. 

Fortunately, for businesses, foreclosure and bankruptcy are not a death knell and hopefully the Lorelei can come out of this as a profitable enterprise. Because let's face it, it sure would be a shame if there were no more Giant Mermaid to grope. 

GULF OIL SPILL

Relief Well Almost Complete

The first relief well BP is drilling in the Gulf of Mexico could intercept the leaking Deepwater Horizon well in seven to 10 days, the man heading the federal response to the oil crisis said Thursday.

[Retired Coast Guard Adm. Thad Allen] reiterated that despite that accelerated time frame, he's sticking with mid-August as the expected time for the "bottom kill" procedure to be completed. CNN

It's been a long time since we've heard anything regarding actually stopping this fiasco. It seems like BP has put all their faith in this relief well working. I am glad that we are getting close to possibly having this thing stopped but I think I've written that phrase about 10 times since this oil spill started. My question is, what if this relief well doesn't work?

Is there any backup plan? I haven't seen any preparation for any emergency Plan B. Oh wait, thats right, the backup plan is another relief well. I like the commitment on this one.

THE SALTY METER

Today's Entries

Click HERE for overall scores

Intangibles:

Kenny:

While his contributions may not be traditional Kenny always seems to bring something to the table that no one else can. It may be a gay man-towel, or maybe it’s as simple as his shifty eyes and strange ability to instigate things with no one else realizing Kenny is instigating it. At the very least this blog is one of his products aaanndd he found a bunch of pictures of chicks in bikini’s holding lobster, two very valuable contributions. Kenny has promised to provide something that will revolutionize mini-season this year which may have a drastic effect on his score. Until then, Kenny scores a 7.

Total Intangibles Score: 7


Catching Ability:

Captain Awesome:

Captain Awesome is a very dependable lobster catcher. On top of this he is probably the best bag handler of all time. He has a ton of experience and is one of the top catchers in our group. Occasionally he gets a little rough with the bugs causing a rare miss.

Catching score: 7.5


Drinking Ability: 

Gordon:

While it was his first trip Gordon impressed early by continuously being the protagonist for the shotgunning of beers. He did have a distinct advantage over the majority of the group as his two years of school prior to the trip helped insure that he was in top form for the occasion. Gordon pretty much drank consistently throughout the entire trip and was often the first to crack a beer in the morning yet it was always difficult to tell if he was drinking at all. Gordon can Flat out drink.

Total Drinking ability: 8*

*Gordon has a year of consulting under his belt, we will see where his stamina is in a few short weeks. It has been rumored that he has his own mug at a bar in all the cities he travels to just to make sure he stays in prime form.

GULF OIL SPILL

Latest Fisheries Closure

Enlarged Version

No changes this week to the Florida side of the boundary.

MINI SEASON STILL A GO

FWC: "No Plans to Modify or Cancel the Mini or Regular Open Seasons"

I just got some good news, straight from one of my inside sources, that the FWC is not currently considering any change to this month's upcoming mini season. By inside sources I mean a couple weeks ago I sent the FWC an inquiry about whether or not there was any concern due to the oil spill and I just received a response from them saying there is nothing to worry about. So, grab your tickle sticks fellow lobstermen cause it's bug killin' time.

After the jump: Full text of the FWC's official response.

WE NEED YOUR HELP

Send in Your Pics

So apparently there are only about seven pictures of hot girls holding lobsters on the entire interweb. If you happen to be out this mini season and snap a picture of a chica holding a lobster send it in to us at miniseason.blogspot@gmail.com. 

I'd love to do another countdown next year but I promise you I scoured the internet for weeks just to put seven months worth of quality pics together. So next year we need some help or its gonna be ugly...