LOBSTER LINGO

Keeper [kee-per]
- noun

1. A lobster that is large enough to take home and turn into dinner without risking the FWC sending you to the clinker. In Florida a keeper is a lobster with a minimum 3" carapace.

2. A girl hot enough, and only mildly annoying enough, to actually consider making your wife.

Synonyms: Legal Lobster, Dream Girl.

Example: Your goal this year is catch at least one keeper, so that you don't embarrass yourself again.

TRAINING FOR THE TRIP

Daily Training Regimen

by Justin Mirgeaux

MORNING ROUTINE

24 oz beer

200 M swim

AFTERNOON ROUTINE

12 oz beer

300 M swim

Shit in ocean

NIGHTTIME ROUTINE

12 oz beer

Man-overboard drill (>5 min)

BEDTIME ROUTINE

100 M swim

Rest...(Eat banana bread)

4 MONTHS TO GO

I only see two keepers in this picture.

CATCHING TECHNIQUE

Out in the Open

Free diving or on a tank the basics of how to catch the lobster are fairly similar. For now we will just talk about the basics, an open water uncovered lobster Catch. Like most people our preferred method is with a net and a tickle stick. No, we aren't talking about your mom's tickle stick but something that looks more like this:

It should be noted that while you will occasionally come across one just walking on the ground, more than likely you will only find an uncovered lobster at night when they walk, or near a bunch of miniseason newbies that are scattering lobster all over the place in their attempt to catch dinner. It is also important to understand that lobsters swim backwards and are extremely quick:

Once you have found your bug just follow these steps:

1. Approach the lobster carefully as it is already probably spooked from its prior encounter. If you accidentally touch it before you are ready it will take off, never to be seen again.
2. Armed with your Net and stick place the net behind the lobsters tail.
3. Slowly created as small as an angle as possible between all areas of the net and the ground (slowly lowering it over the lobster).
4. Quickly push the entire net against the ground and at the same time slide your tickle stick from the handle of your net to the back, effectively forcing the lobster into the back of the net.
5. While you still have the tickle stick pressing against the ground keeping the lobster pinned in the back of the net release the nets handle and grab the lobster with your hand (while it is still in the net)
6. Surface and catch your breath.

This technique will work regardless if you are on a tank or free diving. Always keep in mind that lobsters are extremely sneaky and quick under water and can pretty much get out of anything.

There aer a few mistakes people make all the time while catching bugs. Swimming to the surface just holding the nets handle is one of them. Another huge mistake is grabbing the lobster by the antennae. They will break almost immediately and the lobster will get away, and NO lobster do NOT regenerate their antennae. Finally, make sure you have no holes in your net. It sounds simple, but a lobster will almost always find the smallest hole and escape.

Follow those 6 simple steps and you should have flawless lobster catching execution.

LOBSTER LINGO

Knifewrench [nahyf - rench]

- noun

1. Half knife, half wrench, entirely awesome. The most important tool that a lobsterman can possibly own. Don’t be caught hunting bugs without one.

Synonyms: Its a knifewrench people, it doesn't need any other name, it's like Cher or Madonna.

Example: Tickle stick? Check. Lobster net? Check. Knifewrench? Check. Let’s kill us some bugs.

AFTER THE CATCH

Measuring the Lobster

Undoubtedly the most important part of mini season is actually catching some lobsters. However, there is another very important part that should not be overlooked, and that is making sure those bugs are legal size. While you may think measuring and counting your lobsters is a good way to make rookies carry their weight (and it is), keeping an illegal lobster can mean big fines and even having your boat confiscated. So you captains better make sure those swabbies do it right!

Florida law requires that you measure your lobster in the water. Despite this regulation it is good practice to double check the measurement once the bug is on-board. Not only is it easy to make an error when measuring in the water but using two different gauges is important since they are prone to being bent, warped, or cut incorrectly.

A legal Spiny Lobster caught in Florida must have a 3" carapace.

To measure a Spiny Lobster, begin by placing the gauge in-between the lobster's horns so that it hooks onto the front of its carapace. Stretch the gauge flat across the lobster's back in an attempt to touch the lobster's tail. The gauge should not fall over the back of the carapace. If it does the lobster is an illegal size and must be thrown back. If it doesn't, toss that bug in the cooler and cancel your dinner reservations at Little Italy.

ROOKIE MISTAKE ALERT: Make sure that the gauge is hooked onto the hard, solid carapace between the horns and not the soft connective tissue between the eyes. Although the difference can be so minuscule as to seem trivial that 0.1 inch could mean the difference between the FWC sending you home with 6 bugs or sending you home without a boat.

RECIPES FOR A MINI-SEASON FEAST

De-Shelling the Lobster

Every year after our big catch we cook up a gigantic feast where every course has Florida Lobster in it. The menu has changed a bit over the years but it is still on of the highlights of the trip. I will eventually try and post the recipe's for all of the lobster dishes we make. I do need to add a quick disclaimer though. I have never actually written these recipe's down or actually measured what I am putting into the dishes. I usually do it by feel (and tasting and adjusting) but I will do my best to transfer them to directions that people can follow.

To kick us off I am going to describe how we de-shell the lobster tails. This is a key step in a lot of the recipe's as the majority of them call for the tail meat.

What You'll need: A Steamer, or any other make shift steaming mechanism, a knifewrench (or any other knife capable of butterflying a lobster tail), lobster tails, fork, cutting board, water.

1. Get water boiling and steam going
   
2. Put whole tails into the steamer, allow to steam for 1-2 minutes (we do not want to cook the tail all the way through unless otherwise instructed)
   
3. Remove tails (you probably want to use a towel or something to get them out of the steamer as they will be hot.
4. Flip the tails so the underside is up. Using your knifewrench or other cutting device butterfly the tails down the middle. The underside of the tail is much softer and thus much easier to make the cut on. After The lobster meat should be raw in the middle still.
   
5. Place the tail meat side down on the cutting board and jam the fork into it as far as you can. With your hand peel the shell off. It should come out extremely easily.

It is much easier to take the meat out of the shell if the outside has been slightly cooked. If you try and take the meat out of the tail while it is still 100% uncooked you tend to lose a lot of meat and make the task much, much more difficult. Once you have the meat out of the shell there are a ton of ways you can prepare it.

An important key to this method is not to over-cook the lobster. Most of the recipes we use the de-shelled meat for require further cooking so if you over cook it here you will end up with tough, overcooked lobster.

Look for future recipe's and tips for how to use the now de-shelled lobster meat in future posts.

LOBSTER LINGO

Bug [buhg]

- noun

1. A tasty bottom feeding crustacean of the family Palinuridae. Recognizable by their large antenna, spiny shell, and small front pincers. Typically found cowardly hiding in holes and under rocks.

Synonyms: Spiny Lobster, Florida Lobster.

Example: There are bugs everywhere down there! We are having a feast tonight boys!