PIRATE MUSIC

Flogging Molly - Seven Deadly Sins

AFTER THE CATCH

Cleaning the Lobster

Well congratulations, you have a cooler full of fresh lobster and you managed to get back to your house without running aground or being pirated for your booty. But now what do you do with all those squealing bugs? Well killer... it's time to kill. You didn't think lobster hunting was all glitter and sparkles did you? You are a lobster hunter, they are your prey, and its time to wring those bastards like the scum they are. No, its not pretty but its a necessity, and a great way to break in some newbies.

Cleaning lobsters is pretty simple, but there are a few steps that any lobster pirate needs to know in order to quickly and efficiently tear through that pile of keepers. The first step is to take the lobster in both hands, place one on the carapace (head) and one on the tail. Rotate the lobster in opposite directions and pull the carapace and tail apart from one another.

Before discarding the head break off one of the antenna, this will become a necessary tool in the next step. If you are a pimp and have a house on a canal, be aware that you may not toss the heads in the canal. Save them in a cooler or a bucket and take them out to the ocean later to dump them.

ROOKIE MISTAKE ALERT: Make sure that you throw out the head and NOT the tail. Yes, it has happened, don't laugh. Plus, that was back when you could thrown the heads in the canals, so that lobster tail was some lucky fish's dinner instead of ours.

Next take the lobster tail and turn it over, you will notice a small hole near the end of the tail. Yes, this is the poop shoot, I never said this was going to be pretty. Take the broken antenna (thick end first) and insert it into the lobster's ass. Jam it in there good, because if your gonna do something at least do it right. Pull out the antenna and it should drag with it the lobster's intestines... or whatever it is.

That's it, your lobster is now clean and read to store, cook, or barter with.

Thanks to All Kayak Fishing for the pics.

MY OFFICIAL COUNTDOWN HAS BEGUN

Sure the 2011 mini season is still about 9 months away, however last night my own personal countdown trigger was pulled.

Every year leading up to mini season, and yes I do consider 9 months away leading up, I will start to have incredibly vivid dreams about the upcoming trip. They are always almost identical.

• We are out on day 1 catching bugs.
• We realize too late that we missed the first slack tide (which would be my fault).
  
• We don't get our day one limit.
• We struggle to limit on day two.

No joke, I have had this dream more times than I can count on my fingers. Obviously this is an incredibly stressful dream for me. I will then undoubtedly wake up from the dream and my mind will begin to race, making plans for the upcoming year. I think about what our strategy will be to start the opening day this year, what we can do better than the prior year, what new techniques or tools we need to bring down with us, how do we need to change our budget, etc.

I also start to worry about the logistics of the trip. This year already has two big question marks:

1. When am I going to be able to make it down.
2. Who will be our 8? We only have room for 8 on the boat (and that is stretching it) but this year we are likely going to have at least 9 guys that want to come. Those guys that are on the waiting list are going to be pissed if they can't get back in this year.

I legitimately woke up at around 5 am last night after this dream and thought about this stuff until I got out of bed around 7. Moral of the story: a lot of thought goes into mini season on our end, so come prepared.

I am also guessing that I am probably the only one in the entire world that begins to strategize in November for the upcoming mini season the following July.

LOBSTER BUST

FWC Seizes 345 Shorts from Lobster Boat

State wildlife officials made their biggest illegal lobster seizure of the 2010-11 season in the Florida Keys Thursday night.
About 345 undersized lobsters were seized from the 40-foot Trinity on Stock Island at 7 p.m. after it returned from a six-day fishing trip with 5,000 pounds of lobsters worth about $30,000, said Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission (FWC) spokesman Bobby Dube. KeysNews

Well, sucks to be them. Nothing like 345 shorts to really put a dent in your profit margins. This is why you need to hire a full-time measuring man like Sack. What he lacks in catching prowess he more than makes up for in ability to put a plastic gauge on top of a lobster.

The best part of the article is probably the commentators. A bunch of the captain's family were trying to defend him and everyone else was just ripping on them. Gotta love the internet commentator veil of secrecy.

LOBSTER LINGO

Hookah [hook-uh]

- Noun

1. An floating air compressor used by lame amateur divers that supplies them with air while underwater. An alternative to using a scuba tank, in which the diver is attached to a hose that feeds to the surface where a gas powered motor provides a continuous supply or air.

2. A water pipe used to smoke flavored tobacco known as shisha.

Synonyms: third lung

Example: I hope that douche with the hookah drowns.

Mini Season 2011 Update

I realize that many of you were anxiously awaiting an update on the status of lobster mini season 2011.

After much negotiating, phone calls, and visits to potential locations we have successfully turned a potentially season ending situation around.

While we are not 100% out of the dark yet, it does appear that the season will go off as planned. It will require some travel and work by all attendees but it can definitely be done. In addition to planning for the last week in July, it now appears that there will be a recommended meeting for all in Minneapolis over the weekend of July 9th.

Please stay tuned for future updates.

LOBSTER SEASON OFF TO STRONG START

Mini Season Catch is Not Making Me Rich

"Spiny lobsters are abundant in supply and demand is strong, according to several of the state's largest lobster producers who provided data to the Florida Department of Agriculture and Consumer Services," said an agency report Thursday.

Dockside prices paid to fishermen this season have been running $5.50 to $5.25 per pound, according to reports. A legal size lobster generally weighs about a pound.

At the start of the 2009 season, the poor economy and frozen lobster left from the previous year pushed wholesale prices down to just about $3 per pound -- a rate not seen since the 1980s. KeysNet


I am as glad as anyone that the lobster population is plentiful this year, we can skip that part of this news article. The real reason for this post was to bitch that the twelve tails I brought home are only worth $60 and the year before that they were only worth $36! I know you can't put a price on fun but c'mon, at least give me triple digits here.

As much as I love the Keys, after reading this, there is no way I envy fishermen down there anymore. I mean how many bugs do you have to catch just to break even? Probably like 50,000. I mean its a pain in the ass just to catch twelve, no thank you, I'll keep doing my fishing at Publix.

P.S. Those "trap molesters" (as the article so eloquently puts it) are damn ballsy. I don't even want to know what some crazy, old, salty fisherman making $3 per lobster would do if he caught you stealing from his trap.