LOBSTER LINGO

FWC [ef-dubh-uhl-yoo-see]
- noun

1. An acronym that stands for "Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission," which is Florida's fish and wildlife law enforcement agency. During mini season they are in charge of making sure no on is boating dirty.

Synonyms: Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission, Po-Po, 5-0.

Example: I'm nor sure why the FWC pulled us over, our harpoon is totally legal.

GULF OIL SPILL

BP Throws Shit Against the Wall, Sees What Sticks

Workers haven’t given up hope on the dome completely. They could possibly use heat to prevent the ice crystals from forming or use methanol. Another solution officials are considering, clogging the leak up with trash. CBS News 9 - Greenville, NC

Really BP? This is your backup plan? You are going to shove a bunch of garbage into the well and hope that it stops the oil flow. I really hope this reporter just made this story up, because this can't be true, right? So courtesy of BP not only will our lobsters be covered in oil but they will all have six pack rings around them. Of course, if I caught one lobster who was attached to five others like a pack of Busch Light I might change my tune. 

GULF OIL SPILL

BP Dome Pwned by Ice Crystals

It could be at least a day before BP can make another attempt at putting a lid on a well spewing thousands of gallons of crude into the Gulf of Mexico, as a big box meant to siphon the oil away sat idle and encased in ice crystals.

The company's first attempt to divert the oil was foiled, its mission now in serious doubt. Meanwhile, thick blobs of tar washed up on Alabama's white sand beaches, yet another sign the spill was worsening.

It had taken about two weeks to build the box and three days to cart it 50 miles out and slowly lower it to the well a mile below the surface, but the frozen depths were just too much. BP officials were not giving up hopes that a containment box — either the one brought there or another one being built — could cover the well. But they said it could Monday or later before they decide whether to make another attempt to capture the oil and funnel it to a tanker at the surface would be tried. Associated Press

Well so much for the super dome/funnel, whatever it is. It seemed too good to be true, but I was really hoping it would work. Sucks, but what do you expect, the Ghost Lobster would not let such a diabolical plan be ruined by a pansy ass little metal box, it was just too simple

Anyway, back to the drawing board for BP, they better start to figure this shit out quick because the days are ticking down and this thing is not going away on its own.

GHOST LOBSTER STRIKES AGAIN!

Could the Ghost Lobster have Caused the Oil Rig Explosion?

So a question has been posed in our comments section about whether the true cause of the oil rig explosion was the diabolical work of the Ghost Lobster. The answer to this question is 100% yes, there is no question in my mind that the Ghost Lobster was behind this. Not only is the Ghost Lobster highly sneaky and manipulative but he is the only marine creature with the ability to pull of such a feat. Let's look at some of the clues that support this theory:

     (1)     Oil floats - The Ghost Lobster knew that attacking an oil rig meant the contaminants would only effect the surface of the ocean. This would not only force humans to cease diving activities because they would have to climb through the oil but at the same time it would not affect the lobsters because they live like cowards on the underneath rocks at the bottom of the ocean.

     (2)     The Loop Current - By attacking a rig located in the Gulf of Mexico the Ghost Lobster knew that the oil would sit around in the gulf for a while but would eventually be swept through the keys via the Loop Current. The ghost lobster knew this would ensure a steady stream of oil which would disrupt mini season.

     (3)     The explosion was at 9:45 PM - It is well known that lobsters travel and operate at night, and the Ghost Lobster is no different.

     (4)     No survivors - The Ghost Lobster is ruthless and will do anything and everything he can to escape capture, even if that means taking out each and every witness.

     (5)     The spill is continuous - The attack was planned perfectly so that the Ghost Lobster would not be the prime suspect because mini season is still a long time off, but do not be fooled by this slight of hand. The rig was damaged in such a way that the emergency shut off valve failed, resulting in the oil continuously pouring into the ocean, which could last until mini season.

     (6)     There was no sign of the Ghost Lobster - The best sign the Ghost Lobster was there is that there is  no sign the Ghost Lobster was there.

So there you have it, six indisputable facts that point straight to the true culprit. He may have the rest of the world fooled, but not us. We know the Ghost Lobster is out there and that he is laughing maniacally at all of us. Well his time will come, and when we finally catch him and wring his tail, we will be the ones to have the last laugh.

AFTER THE CATCH

Keepin' it Fresh

So, you've caught a lobster, measured it twice and low and behold its a legal bug. Well you aren't going to throw it back, so what do you do with it? Hopefully you thought about this one before you drove into the middle of the ocean, because if you didn't its a little late now, but for those of you planning ahead here is what you are gonna need:

     1.     A LARGE cooler, after all you do plan on catching a lot of lobster don't you? -  It gets really hot in that high noon sun of the Keys and you don't want your lobsters cooking because you cant close the lid (like in this photo). While most any cooler will suffice I would suggest getting something high quality and durable, it will be worth the investment, you don't want your ice melting because of poor insulation. Basically this means do not buy a $10 Styrofoam cooler from Publix on your drive down. 

     2.     A lot of ice, the goal is to keep the lobsters cold. - You need to have enough ice to create a layer on the bottom of the cooler that will not melt during the time you are out at sea. The better the cooler the less ice you will need, just make sure you leave some rooms for the lobsters!

          

A cooler and some ice, thats about it, no big secret to this one. You don't need to give the lobsters water or salt water or store them in anything fancy like a live well, just stick them on some ice and let them chill. The ice will keep the meat fresh and the lobsters dazed.

GULF OIL SPILL

Oil Spill Could Reach Keys Within the Week

Nick Shay, a physical oceanographer at the University of Miami Rosenstiel School of Marine and Atmospheric Science, suspects that oil is already getting into the periphery of the Loop Current and will likely end up in the Keys "relatively quickly."

"Certainly within a week," Shay said. "It will impact coral reefs and fisheries and the ecosystem of the entire Florida Keys."

And that has some Keys residents starting to worry.

"I am not going to lie and say we haven't been discussing it amongst ourselves. But it doesn't seem like there is a whole lot we can do about it here. We are so utterly helpless," said Luke Abbey, an employee at Subtropic Dive Center in Key West. "Our money is made on the water. So, if there is an oil slick on the water, there is no diving."

He said there are three sports in Key West: "Drinking, fishing and diving. In that order. The only thing that is not going to be affected is drinking." Bloomberg Buisnessweek

So it doesn't look like the oil is going to be contained anywhere near in time for mini season. If that means no diving then that basically means no mini season, but I am not abandoning all hope just yet. As a backup plan I may have to start working on my bullynetting skills, because we all know how well that turned out last time.

GULF OIL SPILL

The catastrophic oil spill that is currently going on in the Gulf is becoming worrisome for the prospects of this year's mini season. I have not found any information regarding its possible effect on the lobsters but we will continue to monitor this development and post any relevant information.

This spill is well on its way to becoming the worst in history. I don't see how they will manage to contain this thing anytime soon unless their proposed containment dome actually works. Let's keep our fingers crossed that it does. 

For people who may want to help, here is a site to get you started http://www.oilspillvolunteers.com/. For everyone like me who is too lazy to actually clean oil off rocks, the least we can do is boycott BP and send a donation to a good cause. I'll have to sort through some organizations before deciding who its best to donate to, but once I figure it out I'll post a link to their website.

P.S. BP better pray they don't ruin mini season because if they do there is no telling what I may be capable of.